We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
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