i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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