I'm really into asian looking animals
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
