i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
You know, be my cock's hype man.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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