Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
