Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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