I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
