ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
