There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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