You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
