They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
