i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
