no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
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