I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
