He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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