The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
