if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
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