Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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