Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
