Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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