thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Randomize
