ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
