RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
