pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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