Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
