My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize