scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
