"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Randomize
