its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize