rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
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