Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
