This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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