and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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