How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I just want nice things and good sex
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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