Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
