After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
