Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
