im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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