i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Randomize
