The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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