Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Randomize
