Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
You pole danced in your parka.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
