And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize
