Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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