got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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