bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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