not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize