We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I party with great urgency now.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
