Are you still at the party or did I leave?
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
When are your genitals available?
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
