Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I got inside last night via doggy door
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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