The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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