i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
They should really pass out barf bags in church
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
