is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
She's the barista slut.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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