he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I could fuck to npr.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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