i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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