i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
