I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
