Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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