So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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