your room smells of hookers.
And success
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
