So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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