Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
She needs sedatives and a leash
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
