I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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