I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
