Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
