I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
