Grow some girl-balls and come out already
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
