Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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