Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
