Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Randomize
