Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
did i just pee glitter
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
