Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
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