what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
