I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
