Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
