she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
