Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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