she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize