I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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